DBT Skills for Couples, focuses more effectively coping with intense emotional patterns in intimate relationships. These online classes teach skills that can help break the negative emotional patterns that prompt criticism, self-blame, or defensiveness. Each class provides family members, friends or partners with skills to better cope and support their loved one. 
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DBT Couples Skills Course
The  DBT Skills for Couples online class is scheduled each year and is typically followed by DBT Family Skills Training. In the Fall of 2023, the series is 15 weeks long and is offered online. Sliding-scale fee available. Schedule TBA.

Each person will be given a binder with handouts for each class. We ask that everyone obtain a copy of The High Conflict Couple: A DBT Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy and Validation by Alan Fruzzetti, PhD which this class is based on.  

Registration link is at bottom of page. Contact John Mader for additional information at jmaderlmft@gmail.com.

Tuesday Evenings 6:30-8pm, offered online.

Key Learning Objectives for DBT Couples Skills Sessions

Session 1: Understanding Emotion Dysregulation 
  •  Wise Mind in Relationship: From Problem to Solution
Core Problem:
Highly aroused, negative emotions
…lead to harmful behaviors during conflict
…lead to unsupportive relating
And increased misery among partners

Potential Solution:
Learn skills to effectively manage negative emotions
…lead to increased understanding and validation
…lead to supportive relating
And increased joy (decreased suffering) among partners

Session 2: Mindfulness in Relationship
  • The Cycle of Invalidation
  • 3 Steps to Mindfully Observe and Describe
​Session 3: Interrupting Ineffective Behavior Patterns 
  •  To make things better, we need to stop making things worse...Here’s how

Session 4: Being Together with More Aliveness 
  •  “Reconditioning” a difficult situation so it triggers more effective emotional responses and intensity.   
Session 5: Reactivating Your Relationship
  • Next steps on how you can reinvigorate your relationship 

Session 6: Accurate Expression 
  • The Couple Two Step 
  • Mindfulness leads to Accurate Communication
Session 7: Validation: Whats and Whys 
  • Validation plus Accurate Expression equals Effective Communication 
  • What is Validation?
  • Validation is NOT…
  • Cycle of Validation 

Session 8: Validation: How Skills  
  • Mindfulness of Partner plus Listening Actively with D R L R

Session 9: Recovering from Invalidation 
  • Six Strategies to Break the Invalidation or Judging Cycle
  • Making Repairs after Invalidation   

Session 10: Managing Problems and Solutions
  • Managing problems = Negotiating Solutions when Possible 
  • and Accepting Problem Situations with Validation when Solutions are Elusive
  • Problem Analysis
  • Acceptance as an Alternative to Change 
  • Change: How to Negotiate Solutions or FENCE 

 Session 11: From Conflict to Closeness 
  • Finding Acceptance & Closeness
  • Behavioral Tolerance, Awareness of Unnecessary Suffering, and Letting Go of Suffering

Session 12: Summary, Review, and Celebration
  • Review the DBT Couple skills and strategies in light of your relationship priorities and goals
  • Discuss the most important skills that each couple wants to commit to practice
  • Trouble-shoot potential pitfalls with mini-treatment plans​